Personality Quiz Maker

<h1>So You Want To Build A Personality System!</h1> Welcome, bored classmate or professor! I hope you're ready to build a brand new personality typology! Maybe you’re an overworked Buzzfeed employee who hasn’t slept or stopped looking at kitten pictures for a week. Maybe you want to exploit your way into boatloads of money! Maybe you have some glaring personal flaws that you'd like to paint over as an inevitable and unchanging part of your personality. Good news- this is the perfect Twine for you! [[Get Started!]]

Let’s start with the basic foundation: How do people categorize themselves? [[- By identifying where they are in a predetermined formula that appeals to an idea of simple, universal principles. ->- By identifying where they are in a predetermined, arbitrary system. I want my system to be generic enough to include literally any type of person.]] [[- Quizzes about random traits we invent in order to have labels. I want people to identify themselves in the system so that they can feel affirmed and proselytize.->- Quizzes about arbitrary traits we invent in order to have labels. I want people to identify where they are so that they can feel affirmed and proselytize.]]

Now we need to decide how to sort people! Remember, nothing is too random to divide people with! [[- Random clusters of stars when you were born]] [[- What Decade They Were Born]] [[- Some random pigmentation]] [[- Head bumps ->Head shapes]]

Fun! I'm sure glad you picked this one, the other side gets pretty dark. Now, how important are these traits going to be? [[- Extrememely serious and 'scientifically' accurate]] [[- Eh, maybe something in the middle?]] [[- Super light. Let's talk about their favorite show or something]]

Classic! A personality system that places entire generations into neat boxes! A system as old as time! Please Select Your Generation: [[1946-1964 (Boomer)]] [[1901-1927 (Greatest Generation)]] [[ 1860–1882 (Missionary Generation)]]

If it ain't broke, don't fix it, amiright? Let's start building the traits that we can label people with! What is their defining postitive trait? [[- You are a very generous, big hearted person! Even if you don't donate money, we can still fit you in by saying you're generous with your time, energy, emotions, compassion, words, etc.!]] [[- Adaptable! Since every human being has to deal with change as a part of life, this is a great way to include literally everyone.]] [[- Fair! You have an acute sense of justice that confirms every decision you make as impartial]]

Jeez, this got serious real fast. Maybe let's go back and pick a lighter route? I think the quiz side has some puppy pictures. [[- You're right narrator, I guess I just wanted to see if this was a real option ->Get Started!]] [[- Nope, we're doing this.]]

Wow that really is a super obscure method! [[Dress it up in the trappings of science]]

Not much left to do but ride this out then. [[- Segregate a group of people for exploited labor, reassure yourself that you can act immorally because they don't have the same religion as you]]

Uh oh, a lot of them converted to your religion. Some people are asking for us to give them rights too. [[- Come up with a bullshit excuse that labels them as cursed and inhuman]]

[[Continue to create traits that section them off as barbaric and primative, contrasting it with the illusion of your own superiority->Continue to create traits that section them off as barbaric and primative, highlighting your own superiority]]

[[Adapt to a new system of economic, judicial, and terroristic oppression]]

[[Invent new reasons to incarcerate, exploit, and otherwise cripple their ability to exist while technically following the law]]

Well. Seems like this personality system is going to stick around for a while. Thanks to your choices you've created a pretty genuine shitshow. I sure hope you at least have the decency to feel bad about yourself. [[- Restart->Untitled Passage]]

So long as you tell the right people the correct things, this could definitely hold up for at least 80 years or so. [[- affirm the rich people, fuck the poor!]]

Perfect! Now for the most important choice. What traits should we associate with your generation? [[- We might have had some misadventures in our youth, but my generation is the torchbearer of virtue in our society. We carry on the morals and hard work of the Greatest Generation, and make sure the country hasn't been taken over by lazy people]]

Wow, look at how great you are. You're such a great human, a magnificant example of your personality traits. Sadly, we do need to acknowledge your flaws though. After all, if it's all positive it wouldn't be real. [[- Despite your avid generosity, you tend to think of yourself first.]] [[- You don't respond well to criticism]]

Your incredible flexibility is a source of inspiration to all of those other types of people. No matter if you are standing firm despite the changes or transforming yourself to suit them, it all just shows how adaptable you are! But every personality category needs a flaw. No matter how great you are specifically, you still need space to look down on your own group for being worse than you. [[- Indecisiveness. Sometimes they aren't sure how to act in times of change or when facing a big decision about the future.]] [[- Sometimes you come across as vapid or a little shallow.]]

I'm so happy we're in the same category together! We are so clearly the best (and I can say this because I'm so objective and fair). But to confirm to the other groups how fair we are, we need to have at least one flaw. Otherwise, how would they know how self-aware we are? [[- People pleasing. Sometimes we make decisions that are pretty emotionally driven and arbitrary.]] [[You enjoy gossip sometimes]]

Perfect. Now, no matter what happens, literally everyone fits neatly into this box. Every noticeable action they take will confirm that they are in fact, a member of this personality type. 10 out of 10 thinking. Now for the final step: [[- Wrap all of this up in vague trappings of spiritual mysticism, which you can then leverage for MLMs, higher prices, or covering over personality flaws]]

Uh oh, we're getting a little too close to describing a narrow, specific personality. Let's make sure we still have space to contain anyone who matched with our arbitrary borders. [[- Build out sub-categories that take into account the sun, moon, or other factors in a way that smooths out differences]] [[- Create universal trends that make sure the whole system is always changing. That way any specific moment is influenced by a number of separate events that could justify any specific outlier experience->- Build out sub-categories that take into account the sun, moon, or other factors in a way that smooths out differences]]

Brilliant. Now the system is equal parts complicated and nebulous. They'll never be able to untangle a verifiable statement that could threaten the legitimacy of the personality system. Now for the final step: [[- Wrap all of this up in vague trappings of spiritual mysticism, which you can then leverage for MLMs, higher prices, or covering over personality flaws]]

So because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of My mouth. Or this quiz option or whatever. [[- Go back and pick a stronger option you indecisive wishy-washer->- Quizzes about arbitrary traits we invent in order to have labels. I want people to identify where they are so that they can feel affirmed and proselytize.]]

Perfect, let's not get too serious. After all, this is a personality quiz. What should it be centered around? [[- Cute Animals!]] [[- My favorite TV Show!]] [[- Colors!]]

Let's take a moment and talk about what makes typologies like this work. In order to be believable as a "scientific", "objective", or "obvious" trait system, we have to follow some rules. By and large, human behavior tends to break down like this: <img src="https://i.ibb.co/2NBWVdT/cluster.png"> No matter how you bisect the cluster (or how many cuts), so long as the sides are relatively equal, it's a workable system. [[- Wait, wouldnt the people in the middle feel more akin to themselves than those at the edges?]]

That's a fair assumption. However, human psychology is a funny thing. ''1) Someone identifying themself inside of a category causes them to intensify those traits. '' As their sense of identity responds to the category (introvert vs. extrovert for instance), they begin to respond to internal and external expectations of behavior. This strengthens whatever line you draw into an actual division, completing the self-fulfilling prophecy. ''2) By creating traits and emphasizing their value, people will trend away from the middle'' Every article written about the personality system that's not a wholesale rejection is going to be about how to make the most out of this or that trait. How X trait is common in the most successful people, or how Y type of people have better friends. No one is writing a "here's why it's good to be stuck between or have only a little bit of X trait". So when people try to emphasize their own expression of that trait. [[- Thanks for psych lesson, professor]]

Hey, it's not my fault you chose the serious option. Anyways, let's start building our personality system! [[- Pick a reasonable trait that you happen to exhibit strongly]] [[- Choose something with obvious bias that inproperly segments the population]]

By lord Xenu! This is perfect. I think you could even make some money off of this idea. [[- Recruit a bunch of rich celebrities]]

Hey! Were you even listening to my carefully thought out discussion? I swear, you better read it for real this time! [[Sigh. Fine.->Go back]]

Assuming they can hold their fame (an impossible mission to be sure), you should start rolling in a ton of cash while enslaving a bunch of grunts to do your menial labor. [[- Cash Money]]

Congratulations! You've reached the Scientology ending! Easily the second most immoral outcome you could have gotten! Thanks to your astute choices, you have unlocked the "Not as bad as that other one" achievement! [[- Restart->Untitled Passage]]

Nice, you've hit the Astrology Personality System ending! Only a true Capcom could ever have found this! If you'd like to go back and try a path that a doofus Arlesian might go to, you can restart here: [[- Restart ->Untitled Passage]]

What kind of Cute Animals are we talking about here? [[- puppies and kittens!]] [[- Quokkas]] [[- Blobfish]]

Ooh, getting a little cultured in here. Let's make sure we pick a popular enough show to that we don't lose too many people. [[- The Office ->- puppies and kittens!]] [[- Game of Thrones->- Quokkas]] [[

Perfect, let's pick some [[- Everyone loves Blue->- puppies and kittens!]] [[- Green->- Quokkas]] [[- Light orange, kind of like a tangerine but with a tinge more pink. Like a wisp of pink-ness. The La Croix of pink->- Blobfish]]

Nice. Now, I know we just talked a while about how all the traits are equal and super arbitrarily identified, but we both know the truth, don't we? [[- Secretly favor your trait, and make it seem like the preferrable option]]

Bingo. [[- Give your personality type and adjacent ones names like "Leader" and "Commander", while others get names like "Supporter" or "Entertainer"]]

Perfect. Time to move in for the kill: [[- Sell personality tests to businesses and encourage them to promote and prefer your traits above everyone elses]]

Congrats! You have reached the MBTI ending! I sure hope you have the right batch of personality types, because we aren't really capable of escaping this *very* scientific typology. A fun piece of trivia for you before you go, this is only the fourth most profitable ending, but the second most ethical (depending on whether you actually believe in your personality system of choice) [[- Restart->Untitled Passage]]

The most reliable of all the options for sure. Quick Question: Do you often find yourself blindly falling in with the most popular option? [[-No, I'm a unique person who's special and different]] [[- Yes, but that's just because I'm a trendsetter!]] [[- What are you talking about, that was clearly the best choice]]

Always a super solid option. How should we start the quiz? [[The]] [[Hello!]]

You're really just out here to be controversial, aren't you? [[- Yeah, I've always seen myself as a bit of a rebel->Untitled Passage 2]] [[- Nah, I was just doing it to be funny]] [[- I'm taking the completionist approach to this quiz]]

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh nooooooo00000ooooooooo0oo0oooooooo00000oooo00oooo the quiz wasn't <h3>built for that</h3> kind of insolence . [[- Get out before it breaks down!->- Get out before it breaks down]]

You might think it's funny but you're fucking up this whole quiz with your shennanigans. Here, why don't you go mess with somebody else's thing while I try and fix the mess you just made. [[Leave->Untitled Passage 6]]

Oh yeah? Good luck. You find yourself standing in front of a series of doors. Like that gameshow, only its from interdimensional cable and there are infinite doors. [[- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 2 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 3 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 4 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 5 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 6 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 7 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 8 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 9 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 10 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 11 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 12 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 13 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 14 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 15 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 16 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 17 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 18 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 19 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 20 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 21]] [[Pick Door Number 22 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 23 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 24 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 25 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 26 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 27 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 28 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 29 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 30 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 31 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 32 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 33 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 34 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 35 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 36 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 37 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 38 ->- Pick Door Number 1]] [[Pick Door Number 39]] [[Pick Door Number 40 ->- Pick Door Number 1]]

You find yourself in a pretty nondescript room where the narrator is unwilling to describe it in any amount of detail that separates it from the other doors. I'm sure this one is distinct and special in some way, so imagine it's somehow cozier and more special. Not as special as the correct door, but who has time for that? [[- Riiiight...]] <a href="https://twinery.org/">- Look narrator, this seems like a lazy way out of your descriptive responsibilites. If you expect me as the reader to interact with 40 god damn doors, you sure as hell better be willing to give me something more than this bullshit generic text</a> [[- Go back and keep searching->- I'm taking the completionist approach to this quiz]]

Blackjack! I sure hope you didn't check the backend of this twine and ruin the integrity of this literary piece. [[- Uhhhhh]] [[- Nope, I was just feeling lucky!]]

You cheated not only the game, but yourself. You didn't grow. You didn't improve. You took a shortcut and gained nothing. You experienced a hollow victory. Nothing was risked and nothing was gained. It's sad that you don't know the difference. [[- Go back and pick all of the other options to experience true success ->- I'm taking the completionist approach to this quiz]]

Congratulations! You've hit the obnoxiously hidden Jackpot Ending! [[- Restart ->Untitled Passage]]

So. Anyways. I guess this is the ending? Let's call it the Lazy Ending, for everyone too tired to search. Congrats? This is like the least meaningful ending out of all of them. [[- Restart and try to find some meaning in life->Untitled Passage]]

You find yourself in a.. Woah. This is actually like a really iconic room. The whole thing has this gold and black Art Deco feel. Like imagine a room from The Great Gatsby movie, but even more expensive. This room must have cost a fortune to build. There's no way I could group this with those other peasant rooms. This is clearly the greatest of all rooms. So much so that I don't think you can really afford the ending here. Sorry partner, you gotta go back [[- Back to the more affordable options->- I'm taking the completionist approach to this quiz]]

Let's delve into the fascinating world of personality systems and explore what makes them tick. These typologies are intriguing in their complexity, and understanding how they work requires us to delve into the nuances that underpin them. To be deemed credible and worthy of consideration as a "scientific", "objective", or "obvious" trait system, these typologies must adhere to certain rules that govern human behavior, which tends to manifest in predictable ways, clustering around the center in a manner that is both intriguing and captivating. Whether we are discussing emotional expression, introversion versus extraversion, artistic preferences, or even favorite colors, the patterns that emerge are remarkably similar. Human behavior has a propensity to fall into distinct categories, displaying recurrent patterns that can be observed and analyzed. It's as if there is an invisible tapestry woven into the fabric of human nature, with threads of behavior intertwining and creating a mosaic that can be deciphered and understood. [[yawn]] Intriguingly, no matter how we attempt to divide or bisect this cluster of human behavior, the resulting categories tend to be relatively equal in size. It's almost as if there is an inherent balance that exists, guiding the way in which personality traits manifest and align with each other. Like an intricate puzzle with countless possibilities, we can make different cuts and slices, yet as long as the sides are comparable in size, we can create a coherent and workable system upon which to build different personality types. This phenomenon is both awe-inspiring and perplexing, as it implies that there is an underlying order to the seemingly chaotic realm of human behavior. It suggests that there are fundamental principles that govern how we express ourselves, interact with others, and make choices in our lives. These typologies, with their intricate rules and patterns, provide us with a framework through which we can attempt to comprehend the intricacies of the human psyche, and unravel the mysteries that lie within. [[- Wait, wouldnt the people in the middle feel more akin to themselves than those at the edges?->Fakeout]]

That's a fair assumption. However, human psychology is a funny thing. ''1) Someone identifying themself inside of a category causes them to intensify those traits. '' As human beings, we are social creatures, constantly influenced by external factors and internal expectations. When we identify ourselves as a certain type of person, we tend to subconsciously conform to the perceived norms and behaviors associated with that category. For instance, an individual who identifies as an introvert may start to exhibit more introverted behaviors, such as seeking solitude, being more reserved in social situations, and valuing alone time. On the other hand, someone who identifies as an extrovert may feel compelled to be more outgoing, seek social interactions, and thrive in group settings. But that's not all. It's not just about how others perceive us; it's also about how we perceive ourselves. When we adopt a certain personality type as part of our identity, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Our internal expectations of behavior align with the traits associated with the category, and we tend to reinforce those traits through our actions, thoughts, and emotions. It's as if we draw a line in the sand, creating a distinct division between ourselves and others who do not fit into that category. Furthermore, this intensification of traits associated with personality types can have a ripple effect on various aspects of our lives. It can impact our relationships, career choices, hobbies, and even our perceptions of success and failure. For example, an individual who identifies as an passive may shy away from leadership roles or avoid social events, while an individual who identifies as more assertive may thrive in those situations and feel more fulfilled in roles that require authoritative control. It's intriguing how our sense of identity can influence our behaviors and perceptions in such profound ways. The mere act of identifying ourselves within a specific category can trigger a chain reaction that intensifies the traits associated with that category, both internally and externally. It's almost as if our personality type becomes a lens through which we view the world and ourselves, shaping our thoughts, emotions, and actions in intricate and often unconscious ways. ''2) By creating traits and emphasizing their value, people will trend away from the middle'' When it comes to the concept of personality traits and their perceived value, it seems that the prevailing trend in literature and discourse is to highlight the benefits of certain traits while downplaying or ignoring the virtues of others. It's as if society has developed a penchant for placing a premium on specific personality traits that are often associated with success or desirability, while neglecting those that fall in the middle or are considered less glamorous. If you were to peruse through various articles or descriptions on personality systems, you would likely encounter a plethora of content extolling the virtues of certain traits. You may come across assertions such as how trait X is commonly found in the most accomplished individuals, or how individuals with trait Y are more likely to have higher-quality friendships. It seems that the emphasis is often on accentuating the positive aspects of specific traits, while largely ignoring or glossing over the potential merits of being in the middle or possessing only a moderate amount of a particular trait. It's rather puzzling, isn't it? One would be hard-pressed to find an article or discourse that expounds on the virtues of being stuck in between or having a modest amount of a particular trait. It's almost as if the prevailing narrative is one that celebrates extremes and shuns the notion of balance or moderation. When individuals identify with a particular trait, they are more inclined to defend and uphold that identity within their social group, rather than considering or embracing the idea of being in the middle or having a modest amount of that trait. In this age of identity politics and group mentality, individuals often feel compelled to align themselves with a particular trait or set of traits that they believe defines them. This can lead to a tendency to emphasize the value of those traits, as it reinforces their sense of self and belonging within a group. Consequently, individuals may become entrenched in their identification with a particular trait, perceiving it as an integral part of their identity and fiercely defending it, while disregarding or downplaying the virtues of being in the middle or possessing only a moderate amount of that trait. The societal emphasis on extolling the virtues of specific traits and neglecting those that fall in the middle can have significant implications. It can perpetuate a narrow and rigid understanding of personality, leading to a polarization of traits and a lack of appreciation for the nuances and complexities that exist within individuals. It can also foster a culture of comparison and competition, where individuals feel the need to conform to a narrow set of desirable traits in order to fit in or be accepted, while disparaging or dismissing those who do not conform to these ideals. [[- Thanks for psych lesson, professor]]

Oh jeez, I didn't realize we were in the presence of so rare a person. To make sure that this quiz is tailored to your unique personality, we need to calibrate our questions. Shall we begin? [[- Proceed->Untitled Passage 1]]

Oh wow. I never really get ahead of those. Please input the upcoming trends you see impacting us for the rest of the year as concise as possible. <form> <input type="text"> </form> [[- Submit]]

Fair Point! Gotta respect someone who can stand by their decisions honestly. You know what? I think you deserve the Confidence Award! Way to stand by your decisions against the the most mild of pushback [[- Restart->Untitled Passage]]

What word do you feel best describes the totality of your identity? [[- Callipygian]] [[- Steatopygic->- Callipygian]] [[- Posteriorous->- Callipygian]]

Please select which of the following images best describe you: <img src="https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/b/fast-food-small-burger-white-background-simple-isolated-138709802.jpg" width="300px"><img src="https://d1sag4ddilekf6.cloudfront.net/compressed_webp/items/2-CYLDRAKGE66GV6-CZBXPFUTNYLGEN/detail/fbdd31dd33c0428cb10ae8b08b8de222_1590735100367991186.webp" width="300px"><img src="https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/simple-cheeseburger-727548.jpg" width="300px"> [[The Cheeseburger]] [[The Cheeseburger]] [[The Cheeseburger]]

Excellent. If you were on a baseball team, what would you play? [[Batter]] [[Pitcher->Batter]] [[Umpire->Batter]]

<img src="https://thumbs.gfycat.com/UnhappyFatherlyGoa-max-1mb.gif"> I'm just kidding, I'm totally unwilling to pay for a server to hold that kind of information. Besides, it would make me altogether too powerful. You know what someone like me could do with that kind of information? [[... No?]]

Me neither. So I guess we've hit the Trendsetter Ending! Congratulations, you've officially blazed your own unique trail and hit an ending tailored to your forward-looking tastes!

<!DOCTYPE html> <html> <head> <meta charset="utf-8"> <title>Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh</title> <style> body { background-color: black; color: white; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; line-height: 1.5; overflow: hidden; } .glitch { position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; right: 0; bottom: 0; overflow: hidden; } .glitch:before, .glitch:after { content: attr(data-text); position: absolute; top: 0; left: 0; right: 0; bottom: 0; pointer-events: none; } .glitch:before { text-shadow: -5px 0 red; animation: glitch1 2s infinite linear alternate-reverse; } .glitch:after { text-shadow: 5px 0 blue; animation: glitch2 3s infinite linear alternate-reverse; } @keyframes glitch1 { 0% { transform: translate(0, 0); } 20% { transform: translate(-5px, -5px); } 40% { transform: translate(5px, -5px); } 60% { transform: translate(-5px, 5px); } 80% { transform: translate(5px, 5px); } 100% { transform: translate(0, 0); } } @keyframes glitch2 { 0% { transform: translate(0, 0); } 20% { transform: translate(5px, -5px); } 40% { transform: translate(-5px, -5px); } 60% { transform: translate(5px, 5px); } 80% { transform: translate(-5px, 5px); } 100% { transform: translate(0, 0); } } </style> </head> <div class="glitch" data-text="Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh">Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh</div> [[Keep Going!->Untitled Passage 4]]

Well. That got a little unexpectedly sentimental. As a prize for tolerating the prattling, I do have an "Almost Made It Out Of The Matrix" achievement. Ahem. Anyways [[Restart->Untitled Passage]]

<head> <style> tw-story { background-color: black; color: #FFFFFF; text-align: center; padding: 50px; } h1 { font-size: 48px; font-weight: bold; margin: 0; color: #FFFFFF; } p { font-size: 24px; margin-top: 20px; color: #FFFFFF; } </style> </head> <h1>And then.... Quiet</h1> No more questions, no more laughing at the narrator's bad jokes Just blessed silence. <br Just take a deep breath and.... ahhhh. <br Feels nice to just exist doesn't it? Really forget about all those annoying questions and answers. You know, I really think the narrator cared about making some deeper point here. Kind of silly when you think about it. Afterall, this is an obscure quiz that will be read by 1.5 people for a school project. But I guess at the end of the day it's not the consumption of art that makes it meaningful It just has to matter to him. [[Leave->Did I do it? Did I break out of the quiz?]] <iframe width="100%" height="300" scrolling="no" frameborder="no" allow="autoplay" src="https://w.soundcloud.com/player/?url=https%3A//api.soundcloud.com/tracks/238719685&color=%23ff5500&auto_play=true&hide_related=false&show_comments=true&show_user=true&show_reposts=false&show_teaser=true&visual=true"></iframe><div style="font-size: 10px; color: #cccccc;line-break: anywhere;word-break: normal;overflow: hidden;white-space: nowrap;text-overflow: ellipsis; font-family: Interstate,Lucida Grande,Lucida Sans Unicode,Lucida Sans,Garuda,Verdana,Tahoma,sans-serif;font-weight: 100;"><a href="https://soundcloud.com/nervoussadpoor" title="nervoussadpoor" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">nervoussadpoor</a> · <a href="https://soundcloud.com/nervoussadpoor/the-beginners-guide-soundtrack-va-extended" title="The Beginner's Guide Soundtrack - Va (Extended)" target="_blank" style="color: #cccccc; text-decoration: none;">The Beginner's Guide Soundtrack - Va (Extended)</a></div>

<h1>404</h1> <h2>This page doesn't exist</h2> Sorry, the page you are looking for cannot be found. <div style="font-size: 10rem; font-weight: bold; text-align: center;"> </div> Please check the URL or go back to the homepage. [[Continue->Untitled Passage 3]]

This is the story of a man named Stanley. Stanley worked for a company in a big building where he was Employee #427. Employee #427's job was simple: he sat at his desk in Room 427 and he pushed buttons on a keyboard. Orders came to him through a monitor on his desk telling him what buttons to push, how long to push them, and in what order. This is what Employee #427 did every day of every month of every year, and although others may have considered it soul rending, Stanley relished every moment that the orders came in, as though he had been made exactly for this job. And Stanley was happy. And then one day, something very peculiar happened. Something that would forever change Stanley; Something he would never quite forget. He had been at his desk for nearly an hour when he had realized not one single order had arrived on the monitor for him to follow. No one had shown up to give him instructions, call a meeting, or even say 'hi'. Never in all his years at the company had this happened, this complete isolation. Something was very clearly wrong. Shocked, frozen solid, Stanley found himself unable to move for the longest time. But as he came to his wits and regained his senses, he got up from his desk and stepped out of his office. [[Step Out of Office]]

All of his co-workers were gone. What could it mean? Stanley decided to go to the meeting room; perhaps he had simply missed a memo. No matter how hard Stanley looked, he couldn't find a trace of his co-workers. When Stanley came to a set of 2 open doors, he entered the door on his left. [[Left]] [[Right]]

Yet there was not a single person here either. Feeling a wave of disbelief, Stanley decided to go up to his boss's office, hoping he might find an answer there. [[Enter The Broom Closet->Broom Closet]] [[Walk To The Boss's Office]]

This was not the correct way to the meeting room, and Stanley knew it perfectly well. Perhaps he wanted to stop by the employee lounge first, just to admire it. [[Enter Employee Lounge]]

Stanley stepped into the broom closet, but there was nothing here, so he turned around and got back on track. There was nothing here. No choice to make, No path to follow, Just an empty broom closet. No reason to still be here. It was baffling that Stanley was still just sitting in the broom closet. He wasn't even doing anything, At least if there were something to interact with, he'd be justified in some way. [[Stay]] [[Leave->Walk To The Boss's Office]]

Are you... are you really still in the broom closet? Standing around doing nothing? Why? Please offer me some explanation here; I'm- I'm genuinely confused. You do realize there's no choice or anything in here right? If I said, "Stanley walked past the broom closet" at least you would have had a reason for exploring it to find out. But it didn't even occur to me because literally this closet is of absolutely no significance to the story whatsoever. I never would've thought to mention it. [[Savor the Broom Closet]] [[Leave->Walk To The Boss's Office]]

Stepping into his manager's office, Stanley was once again stunned to discover not an indication of any human life. Shocked, unraveled, Stanley wondered in disbelief who orchestrated this, what dark secret was being held from him! What he could not have known was that the keypad behind the boss's desk guarded the terrible truth that his boss had been keeping from him. And so the boss had assigned it an extra secret PIN number. 2845. But of course, Stanley couldn't possibly have known this. (live:15s)[ Stanley just sat around twiddling his thumbs. Trying to input anything on the device was useless, since he could never possibly know that the combination was 2-8-4-5.] <h1>(live:25s)[2 - 8 - 4 - 5.]</h1> [[Enter 2845]] (live:35s)[For god's sake- it turns out that the panel's emergency override kicked in, and the door just opened all by itself, and Stanley just got the hell along with the story. Well whoop-dee-doo.] (live: 45s)[(go-to:"Enter 2845")]

Well, I've come to a very definite conclusion about what's going on right now. You're dead. You got to this broom closet, explored it a bit, and were just about to leave because there's nothing here, when a physical malady of some sort shut down your central nervous system and you collapsed on the keyboard. Well, in a situation like this, the responsible thing is to alert someone nearby so as to ensure that your body is taken care of, before it begins to decompose. HELLO!! ANYONE WHO HAPPENS TO BE NEARBY!! THE PERSON AT THIS COMPUTER IS DEAD!! HE OR SHE HAS FALLEN PREY TO ANY NUMBER OF YOUR COUNTLESS HUMAN PHYSIOLOGICAL VULNERABILITIES. IT'S INDICATIVE OF THE LONG-TERM SUSTAINABILITY OF YOUR SPECIES. PLEASE REMOVE THEIR CORPSE FROM THE AREA AND INSTRUCT ANOTHER HUMAN TO TAKE THEIR PLACE AT THE COMPUTER, MAKING SURE THEY UNDERSTAND BASIC FIRST-PERSON VIDEO GAME MECHANICS, AND FILLING THEM IN ON THE HISTORY OF NARRATIVE TROPES IN VIDEO GAMING, SO THAT THE IRONY AND INSIGHTFUL COMMENTARY OF THIS GAME IS NOT LOST ON THEM. Alright, when you've done that, just step out into the hallway. [[Leave->Walk To The Boss's Office]]

Descending deeper into the building, Stanley realized he felt a bit peculiar. It was a stirring of emotion in his chest, as though he felt more free to think for himself, to question the nature of his job. Why did he feel this now, when for years it had never occurred to him? This question would not go unanswered for long. [[Turn On The Lights]]

The lights rose on an enormous room packed with television screens. What horrible secret did this place hold, Stanley thought to himself. Did he have the strength to find out? [[Turn on the Machine]]

Now the monitors jumped to life, their true nature revealed. Each bore the numbers of an employee in the building, Stanley's co-workers. The lives of so many individuals reduced to images on a screen, and Stanley, one of them, eternally monitored in this place where freedom meant nothing. Had Stanley really been in someone's control all this time? Was this the only reason he was happy with his boring job? That his emotions had been manipulated to accept it blindly? [[Continue]]

But here was the proof. The heart of the operation. Controls labelled with emotions: 'happy' or 'sad' or 'content'. Walking, eating, working... all of it monitored and commanded from this very place. And as the cold reality of his past began to sink in, Stanley decided that this machinery would never again exert it's terrible power over another human life. For he would dismantle the controls once and for all. And when at last he found the source of the room's power, he knew it was his duty, his obligation, to put an end to this horrible place and to everything it stood for. [[Shut It Down]]

Blackness... and a rising chill of uncertainty... was it over? Yes! He had won. He had defeated the machine, unshackled himself from someone else's command. Freedom was mere moments away. And, yet, even as the immense door slowly opened, Stanley reflected on how many puzzles still lay unsolved. Where had his co-workers gone? How had he been freed from the machine's grasp? What other mysteries did this strange building hold? But as sunlight streamed into the chamber, he realized none of this mattered to him. For it was not knowledge, or even power, that he had been seeking, but happiness. Perhaps his goal had not been to understand, but to let go. No longer would anyone tell him where to go, what to do, or how to feel. Whatever life he lives, it will be his. And that was all he needed to know. It was, perhaps, the only thing worth knowing. Stanley felt the cool breeze upon his skin, the feeling of liberation, the immense possibility of the new path before him. This was exactly the way, right now, that things were meant to happen. And Stanley was happy. [[The End]]

Congratulations! You have reached the "Copyrights Don't Apply To School Projects" Ending! I would strongly encourage you to play The Stanley Parable if you have the time and inclination for humor like this. It's way better written than my Twine, and much more fleshed out!. [[Restart->Untitled Passage]]

Ah, yes, truly a room worth admiring. It had really been worth the detour after all, just to spend a few moments here in this immaculate, beautifully constructed room. Stanley simply stood here, drinking it all in. Yeeesss, really, really worth it being here in the room. A room so utterly captivating that even though all your co-workers have mysteriously vanished, here you sit looking at these chairs and some paintings. Really worth it. But eager to get back to business, Stanley took the first open door on his left. [[Go to the Meeting Room->Left]] [[Continue Exploring]]

But Stanley didn't want to go back to the office, he wanted to wander about and get even further off track. So now in order to go back, he needed to go, um...uh...hm hm hm hm, from here it's...um...left. [[Go Left]]

Oh, no. No, it's to the right, my mistake. [[Right->Untitled Passage 5]]

No! No, no, no! Not the right! Why would I have ever said it was to the right? What was I thinking? It's clearly...oh dear, would you hold on for a minute, please? *papers rustling* Now, let's see... we went, um, right...left...down...left...right... Ah yep! Okay, okay, yes! I've got it now! This story is absolutely, definitely, this way. [[Forward]]

The lights rose on an enormous room packed with television screens. NO! No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! This isn't right at all! You're not supposed to be here, yet! This is all a spoiler! Quick, Stanley, close your eyes! Okay, okay, okay, okay, we just...we just have to get back to, um... oh... Who am I kidding? It's all rubbish now. The whole story...completely unusable. How about rather than waste my time trying to salvage this nonsense, we'll just restart the game from the beginning. And this time, suppose we don't wander so far off-track, hm? Okay, from the top! [[The End]]

Very interesting. I think we've finally adjusted the quiz to reflect your unique identity. Shall we continue? [[Let's go!]]

<img src="https://www.wearegreenbay.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/70/2021/09/thumbnail_image_6483441-e1632838234866.jpg?w=592"> Well shit. I just got a call from my contractor and it turns out we only budgeted 11 passages for this route. At this point, even writing the words are costing me 14 cents each. Damn unions. So uhhh, congrats! You got the uhh Unique Ending! Now go, shoo [[Restart->Untitled Passage]]

Let's start with the previous generation: the one that's already dead and lived through the moments that laid the foundation for your present reality. How should we present them? [[- The Greatest Generation! Moral stewards who courageously built the perfect society from the ground up! Gods among humanity, enlightened and virtuous.]]

Let's start with the previous generation: the one that's already dead and lived through the moments that laid the foundation for your present reality. How should we present them? [[- The Missionary Generation! Moral stewards who courageously built the perfect society from the ground up! Gods among humanity, enlightened and virtuous.]]

Let's start with the previous generation: the one that's already dead and lived through the moments that laid the foundation for your present reality. How should we present them? [[- The Transcendental Generation! Moral stewards who courageously built the perfect society from the ground up! Gods among humanity, enlightened and virtuous.]]

Wow. *tears up*. So brave. How do you feel about the Millennials and Gen Z? [[- Lazy, entitled, immoral fiends who can't stop complaining and getting participation trophies. I've never seen such impudence. They'll be the downfall of the whole project if we let them take over.]]

Perfect! Now for the most important choice. What traits should we associate with your generation? [[- We might have had some misadventures in our youth, but my generation is the torchbearer of virtue in our society. We carry on the morals and hard work of the Missionary Generation, and make sure the country hasn't been taken over by lazy people]]

Wow. *tears up*. So brave. How do you feel about the Boomers? [[- Lazy, entitled, immoral fiends who can't stop smoking and lazing around. I've never seen such impudence. They'll be the downfall of the whole project if we let them take over.]]

Damn them and their Boogie Vans. Congratulations! You have reached the generational type ending! Depending on your age and attitudes towards others, you might have also hit this in real life too! If so, you should share this quiz with your great-great-grandchildren who are capable of appreciating this! [[- Restart->Untitled Passage]]

Perfect! Now for the most important choice. What traits should we associate with your generation? [[- We might have had some misadventures in our youth, but my generation is the torchbearer of virtue in our society. We carry on the morals and hard work of the Transcendental Generation, and make sure the country hasn't been taken over by lazy people]]

Wow. *tears up*. So brave. How do you feel about the The next generation? (They didn't get called the Greatest until much later) [[- Lazy, entitled, immoral fiends who can't stop going to cities and wearing two-piece swimsuits. I've never seen such impudence. They'll be the downfall of the whole project if we let them take over.]]

Damn them and their Jazz music. Congratulations! You have reached the generational type ending! Depending on your age and attitudes towards others, you might have also hit this in real life too! If so, you should share this quiz with your great-great-great-great-grandchildren who are capable of appreciating this! [[- Restart->Untitled Passage]]

Damn them and their avacado toast. Congratulations! You have reached the generational type ending! Depending on your age and attitudes towards others, you might have also hit this in real life too! If so, you should share this quiz with your grandchildren who are capable of appreciating this! [[- Restart->Untitled Passage]]

Oh you do? I hate to break it to you, but Twine cannot handle that kind of sass and obstreperousness. You're not getting any further in the quiz with that attitude, so you might as well restart and try to make more compliant decisions. [[- Restart->Untitled Passage]] [[Fuck that ->- Yeah, I've always seen myself as a bit of a rebel]]

<h3>You Are Playing</h3> <h1>The Stanley Parable</h1> [[Start->Leave]]

Uh oh, we're getting a little too close to describing a narrow, specific personality. Let's make sure we still have space to contain anyone who matched with our arbitrary borders. [[- Build out sub-categories that take into account the sun, moon, or other factors in a way that smooths out differences->Astonomy3]] [[- Create universal trends that make sure the whole system is always changing. That way any specific moment is influenced by a number of separate events that could justify any specific outlier experience->Astonomy3]]

Nice, you've hit the Astrology Personality System ending! Only a true Astraeus could ever have found this! If you'd like to go back and try a path that a doofus Megalodon might go to, you can restart here: [[- Restart ->Untitled Passage]]

Uh oh, we're getting a little too close to describing a narrow, specific personality. Let's make sure we still have space to contain anyone who matched with our arbitrary borders. [[- Build out sub-categories that take into account the sun, moon, or other factors in a way that smooths out differences->Astonomy4]] [[- Create universal trends that make sure the whole system is always changing. That way any specific moment is influenced by a number of separate events that could justify any specific outlier experience->Astonomy4]]

Nice, you've hit the Astrology Personality System ending! Only a true Novacore could ever have found this! If you'd like to go back and try a path that a doofus Leonidus might go to, you can restart here: [[- Restart ->Untitled Passage]]

The [[Man]] [[Quiz]] [[Author]]

What a nice warm way to greet your audience. From here, there's no doubt we will create an uber succesful, widely praised quiz! In one word, you've really set this apart as a standout exemplar of good manners. You know what? I think we can call it here. You've done a great job and really understood the "Build Your Own Personality Quiz" assignment. Well done! You are the sole winner of this game. [[Restart->Untitled Passage]]

The man [[ager]]

Well that was quite the twist. But where are you going from here? Hmmm? Didn't think about that now did you? No. I'll wait. I want to see how you're going to create a quiz where the first line is "The manager". I know we said we were going to make a light and funny quiz, but it really feels like you're not taking this whole process seriously? What were you even expecting from a "Build Your Own Personality System" Twine? Cheesecake? I've about had it with your shennanigans. Go somewhere else: [[Leave->Untitled Passage 6]]

The Quiz [[Sucks]]

The Author [[of]] [[is]]

The Author of [[this]]

The Author is [[incredible]] [[amazing->incredible]] [[brilliant->incredible]]

The Author of this [[Twine]] [[game]]

Aw, you know what? I think you deserve your own very special ending. Congratulations! You've found the Beautiful Game ending! While many other game designers might not be susceptable to flattery, I revel in the truthfulness of it! Take a bow for playing the game so well! [[Restart->Untitled Passage]]

The Author of this Twine [[is->Untitled Passage 7]]

The Author of this Twine is [[incredible]] [[amazing->incredible]] [[brilliant->incredible]]

The Author of this game [[is->f]]

The Author of this game is [[incredible]] [[amazing->incredible]] [[brilliant->incredible]]

What? That's really hurtful you know. I've put in a lot of effort into making this whole Twine experience. I don't think I even want you here anymore <a href="https://itch.io/games/made-with-twine">Continue</a>

Did you seriously just yawn in the middle of my presentation? No wonder you didn't get the right answer, you're falling asleep! Look, just go take a nap for a couple minutes, and we can pick back up at the start. (set: $counter to 600) You have |amount>[$counter] seconds left to nap (live: 1s)[ (set: $counter to it - 1) (if: $counter is 0)[(go-to: "Untitled Passage")] (replace: ?amount)[$counter] ] [[Actually, I was being sarcastic]]

Back to the lecture with you! [[Begone!->Fakeout]]